p u s i l l a n i m o u s

There is so much to panic about. But I'm not panicked. It's nice not to be panicked, but this complacency feels so off. I guess I can be an example of a person whose senioritis actually did some good. I'm kind of on some weird high which either arose from hormones' finally doing it right or from my body's going "I give up!" and letting tiredness take its toll on my system. Well, it certainly beats breaking apart like a bottle with too much internal pressure!

I did some more personality research again. I keep saying I'm an INFJ, right? Well, I also can see why I keep getting INTP. Because I fit the bill for that too. Too. Before anyone thinks I get too caught up in this psychoanalysis stuff and too deeply believe in silly tests and acronyms, let me explain: I look into this stuff to establish a basis from which I can derive more information about myself through contemplation and fastidiousness. It's not like what I get from tests is totally false, yeah? So it's a good, perhaps not terribly stable, ground to work off of. I can stabilize the ground on my own if need be with my self-obtained data.

I like figures and systems and theories but I'm very emotional and sensitive and totally hang with my inner world too often for my own good and have designed it to weird extremes. Regarding how I work and what I like to create, I'm totally INTP-ish, but regarding how I deal with feelings and people and arguably also what I like to create, I'm extremely INFJ-ish. In retrospect, my T and P scores are often low on said tests, so I guess this should come as no surprise. It fascinates me though! I fit nicely between the two. Fancy fancy, nancy dancy, shmancy pantsy!

So, anyway, if some test-obsessive guy (because obviously this will happen) comes up and asks me what MBTI type thinger I am, then I will say, "I'm a good chunk INTP and a good chunk INFJ, sir!" (And yes, that would still be "sir" if said guy was a woman only because I always forget to say "ma'am.") And all will be well in the world for that very minute interval of time.

I am entirely screwed for this calc final, but I am convinced that I will not get an F and a D (or the cruel, teetering D-) will not drag me down from an A to a C.
...If I really cared and was in my usual paranoid state of mind, I'd be hitting the sack by now.

Went and did more self-personality analysis via Myers-Briggs tests and results. I got INTP again, but I read about it, and a lot of it just doesn't match. That's the same way I felt with ISTP and INTJ and INFP, which are other results I've received in the past. I did research into other types and found one that seemed to really match. I'm not too sure about my acting on my values a lot, but I suppose I've been acting more as of late. I've certainly been bothered by my not being able to in the past. And now, I did challenge myself with acting (which I wanted to do when I was three) and got my parents to let me play the violin, whom were a pain to convince, let me tell you.

What personality type?
This type would be INFJ.

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Since most of you have known me much longer than anyone else (aside from my immediate family), do you think this type matches me? Trust me; if you've taken the time to read at least five of my emo entries, you have a better idea than most others about my life. I can never get this result on those personality tests (not that those are the most accurate things in the world), but I do feel like this is closest to my actual personality.