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Mar. 4th, 2008 08:26 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
keykHuman blood never ceases to scare me (if it's not my own...I get cut by paper and such so often, I'm used to it). So for the science club, we were doing a nail-bed demo, and someone tried to laid down, but a small part of her hand got cut on the nail-bed doing so. There was blood, and it stained a white lab-coat in the room, and I just watched it spread out. It reminded me of how I almost pressed my hand against the nails just a few minutes ago.
For all the classes after and during tutoring, I could not concentrate AT ALL. I got in trouble during chem goofing off. The person next to me goofed off with me, but she decided to point the finger at me when the teacher came up to us. She also laughed at my grades once, and likes to show off her high grades to me when I have a lower one. I've gotten in trouble to cheer her up and make her laugh after getting a bad grade, but she laughs at my low grades. I feel offended when she does things like that.
I didn't want to think about it, but once I started studying, I kept thinking about it. Eventually, I got a headache, I kept rubbing the same area the other person got cut on, even though it didn't hurt at all. I was really and still am restless. I could never be a doctor, and no matter how often I tell my parents, they'll tell me I'm over-reacting. I probably am, but I can't help it.
I have lots of work cramped into a tight schedule, and I'm really regretting volunteering to tutor. My sister told me about it, and it's not her fault. I accepted it. I don't know any better ways to explain what an "=" is. Tutoring takes awhile because I try to get the lesson through each tutoring session, but it really does cut into my work time. In addition, we're moving, and I can't drive. The moving stress my parents feel is not inspiring me to work, and they cut my tutoring sessions because I can only be picked up at certain times. I'm falling behind so many things, I feel like I won't be able to finish anything. Two weeks, two more essays, two creative pieces, two paragraphs (I find these hard for some reason), a whole load of proofreading. My confidence drops at the worst times possible. I complain a lot about trivial things.
For all the classes after and during tutoring, I could not concentrate AT ALL. I got in trouble during chem goofing off. The person next to me goofed off with me, but she decided to point the finger at me when the teacher came up to us. She also laughed at my grades once, and likes to show off her high grades to me when I have a lower one. I've gotten in trouble to cheer her up and make her laugh after getting a bad grade, but she laughs at my low grades. I feel offended when she does things like that.
I didn't want to think about it, but once I started studying, I kept thinking about it. Eventually, I got a headache, I kept rubbing the same area the other person got cut on, even though it didn't hurt at all. I was really and still am restless. I could never be a doctor, and no matter how often I tell my parents, they'll tell me I'm over-reacting. I probably am, but I can't help it.
I have lots of work cramped into a tight schedule, and I'm really regretting volunteering to tutor. My sister told me about it, and it's not her fault. I accepted it. I don't know any better ways to explain what an "=" is. Tutoring takes awhile because I try to get the lesson through each tutoring session, but it really does cut into my work time. In addition, we're moving, and I can't drive. The moving stress my parents feel is not inspiring me to work, and they cut my tutoring sessions because I can only be picked up at certain times. I'm falling behind so many things, I feel like I won't be able to finish anything. Two weeks, two more essays, two creative pieces, two paragraphs (I find these hard for some reason), a whole load of proofreading. My confidence drops at the worst times possible. I complain a lot about trivial things.
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Date: 2008-03-14 05:09 am (UTC)