(no subject)

[keyk]

I do not know why I always have to worry about something. It's like I'll DIE if I'm not stressing out over SOMETHING. 8|a So about every second I'll worry about how annoying I was yesterday, how stupid or rude action/phrase A and B of mine was, if I'll die tomorrow, how the rest of life'll play out, if I did all my homework, if I managed to do well on some test or project, how I should try to limit my annoyingness in front of others, etc., etc., and I'm not even exaggerating. Ok, fine, maybe when I sleep, I won't be such a worrywart, unless my dreams have anything to say about it, but, anyway, point is, I'm constantly preoccupied.

Yeeeaaahhh. I just don't know why I feel like I HAVE to worry. I just do. I feel like I'll forget something important if I don't. I've been pretty ok about being overly paranoid this year in that I haven't cracked yet, but I have gotten sick pretty often, so maybe that's where all the stress is going? One consistent consequence, among others, of being paranoid is that I am perpetually tired. It is so not cool. And counterproductive. Paradoxical even!

I mean.
I'm tiring myself stressing out over something, and then I have no energy to do the work required to put said stress to rest.

Like.
This AP Calculus test tomorrow morning.
A scrumptious three hours and thirty minutes of puuure maaath.

Am I studying? Absolutely not.
Am I tired? Ohhh, you betcha.

Just plodding through this hell month until graduation. We'll see how it rolls. :|