![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
(no subject)
I still have a paper to write, and group mates who are stressed out for our dance final (I have two since I'm taking two periods, but first period is the biggest pain so far). I don't like being corrected when I'm already doing the way you want me to. I did it correctly, don't get angry at me FOR doing it correctly. I think the stress is getting to them. I'm more worried about my summer work for junior year, frankly.
I also got my violin repaired! For free! Thanks so much, Adriana's dad! Well, then I was told that the violin is a bit too small for me to play, and I guess that's why it's so uncomfortable when I play it. I'm not sure how much rosin to put on, and I'm afraid of putting too much. I'm sure I'm bothering everyone else trying to play it, but it's fun. I'm not very confident in my ability to learn how to play it especially since I couldn't even learn how to play the piano well. I'm always embarrassed in front of new teachers, so if I do get an instructor, I'm not too sure how well it'd go. I tried playing some silly little piece I made on the violin. I'm very bad at pushing on the strings, apparently, and I need to learn proper posture for this. It's still fun. My family will want to kill me for playing so many horrible notes though.
I want an enjoyable hobby where I don't need to worry about competition. If my brother starts learning to play the violin, I'd probably drop it. I want to pursue things outside of my sibling's interests, so I don't need to hear that they're so much better "x" amount of times. Aside from a few people laughing at my wanting to act or being a biologist of sorts, no one in my family really talks about me. Cutting myself off from my family will definitely hurt me later on though, hmm. At least I've lost my "baby" status for the most part, but I'm far from the "smart" or "talented" title. I think I have the title of "the one who will have a bad future." After all, limping off with a B overall after getting a C- (after a grade curve.....the NICE kind) on your final in high school makes me stupid because my siblings do so much better than me.
I'll admit that I like and want more praise, but only when I can trust its source. I can't help but think that I'm starting to become really egotistical. :/ But thinking that I am egotistical makes me destroy my confidence when I'm trying so hard to build it up.
I also got my violin repaired! For free! Thanks so much, Adriana's dad! Well, then I was told that the violin is a bit too small for me to play, and I guess that's why it's so uncomfortable when I play it. I'm not sure how much rosin to put on, and I'm afraid of putting too much. I'm sure I'm bothering everyone else trying to play it, but it's fun. I'm not very confident in my ability to learn how to play it especially since I couldn't even learn how to play the piano well. I'm always embarrassed in front of new teachers, so if I do get an instructor, I'm not too sure how well it'd go. I tried playing some silly little piece I made on the violin. I'm very bad at pushing on the strings, apparently, and I need to learn proper posture for this. It's still fun. My family will want to kill me for playing so many horrible notes though.
I want an enjoyable hobby where I don't need to worry about competition. If my brother starts learning to play the violin, I'd probably drop it. I want to pursue things outside of my sibling's interests, so I don't need to hear that they're so much better "x" amount of times. Aside from a few people laughing at my wanting to act or being a biologist of sorts, no one in my family really talks about me. Cutting myself off from my family will definitely hurt me later on though, hmm. At least I've lost my "baby" status for the most part, but I'm far from the "smart" or "talented" title. I think I have the title of "the one who will have a bad future." After all, limping off with a B overall after getting a C- (after a grade curve.....the NICE kind) on your final in high school makes me stupid because my siblings do so much better than me.
I'll admit that I like and want more praise, but only when I can trust its source. I can't help but think that I'm starting to become really egotistical. :/ But thinking that I am egotistical makes me destroy my confidence when I'm trying so hard to build it up.