keyk: (Angsty Sion)
[personal profile] keyk
I'm extremely sensitive. When we entered the restaurant there was this one tilapia in the aquarium, and it was swimming in a little corner. I felt so bad for it, it just looked sad and lonely (even if fish technically don't have emotions). I felt attached to it already. I just stared at it for most of the time we were there. Eventually, one of the workers came by with a fish net, and it started to swim away from them, but he was caught eventually.

I really wanted to cry right there and then. Farmed animals have such sad lives. Truth be told, I crying my eyes out right now because of it just because I don't have to worry about my parents' presence or my people watching me. I was supposed to work today, but I didn't feel like it at all. This happened another time, too, at the same restaurant, except with a lobster. My dad was teasing me by making voices for the lobster, but that made it worse. I can't stand thinking of anyone or any creatured die; it just depresses me too much.

One of my friends asked me how I dealt with grief when she noticed I was stifling tears from when I lost something a different friend gave me (an eraser; a nice one, too). I don't know. And if just seeing a fish about to die makes me cry this much, I don't know how I'll be able to progress in life. The last life I cried for was my grandaunt's and my grandmother's. But I wasn't all that close to them. I was close, but not too close, unfortunately. But if I were, I wonder how I'd react.

People don't think I'm sensitive until they see how I really act. Criticisms and people saying they hate me, I can take, but when it comes to other people, even if I dislike them, I get really depressed. I feel comfortable wit the fact that I'll die one day, but when it comes to to other people, I can't stand it. I really hate my emotions.
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