Brain fart or brain puke?
Sep. 26th, 2007 12:00 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
keykThe title is pretty pointless. ._.; Save for the fact that I really could not think straight today (or yesterday, since it's 12:35 AM here). ._. I think brain fart is an understatement!
I've lost all motivation for anything. D: I wonder where it all went. It just went POOF all of a sudden. I really wish I had more time and flexibility in school and schedules. I really don't know how to get work done when I have to stay at school from 5:00 to 10:30 (going back home is pretty redundant since it'll be around 4:00 when I get back there anyway)during that play week and not being allowed extension requests.
I wish teacher's could give their entire schedules for the entire year, and I could figure things out from there. But nope, you can only plan ahead by so much. It probably won't change soon. It all feels so forced though, and I hate it. :/ School feels so pointless lately, education and socializing-wise. D: I've been going to sleep everytime I feel bad about something. My dad reminded me about some stupid mistake I did earlier in the morning, so I took a nap afterschool, which completely eats my homework time.
I really dislike compliments for some reason. I just can't agree with the person, and it ticks me off even more when they say "I could never do something like that" or "you're the one who blahblahblah!" I hate it when they put me above themselves. That kills my motivation too. "If it hurts them when I try to be better, why bother?" sort of thing.
.............how the heck do you draw over 20 people who are supposed to look the same physically, but not personality-wise and still make them distinguishable?
And I hate how people always write "RAPE" or other sexual crap in my planner. I draw to calm down, so when they write that stuff, it sort of kills it. I was never a fan of obscene humor (I hated Superbad when my friends took me), so it angers me more than makes me laugh. But I never say "no". I tried to draw about five of the similar-looking people into one panel, but someone wrote "ORGY" on it, and I really dislike it. Every time I draw, they tend to go, "What's he doing?" (almost always implying something sexual) and it just kills the mood. D: And I draw story ideas, so when that stuff gets in, I start disliking it. I'm overreacting, but still.
I've lost all motivation for anything. D: I wonder where it all went. It just went POOF all of a sudden. I really wish I had more time and flexibility in school and schedules. I really don't know how to get work done when I have to stay at school from 5:00 to 10:30 (going back home is pretty redundant since it'll be around 4:00 when I get back there anyway)during that play week and not being allowed extension requests.
I wish teacher's could give their entire schedules for the entire year, and I could figure things out from there. But nope, you can only plan ahead by so much. It probably won't change soon. It all feels so forced though, and I hate it. :/ School feels so pointless lately, education and socializing-wise. D: I've been going to sleep everytime I feel bad about something. My dad reminded me about some stupid mistake I did earlier in the morning, so I took a nap afterschool, which completely eats my homework time.
I really dislike compliments for some reason. I just can't agree with the person, and it ticks me off even more when they say "I could never do something like that" or "you're the one who blahblahblah!" I hate it when they put me above themselves. That kills my motivation too. "If it hurts them when I try to be better, why bother?" sort of thing.
.............how the heck do you draw over 20 people who are supposed to look the same physically, but not personality-wise and still make them distinguishable?
And I hate how people always write "RAPE" or other sexual crap in my planner. I draw to calm down, so when they write that stuff, it sort of kills it. I was never a fan of obscene humor (I hated Superbad when my friends took me), so it angers me more than makes me laugh. But I never say "no". I tried to draw about five of the similar-looking people into one panel, but someone wrote "ORGY" on it, and I really dislike it. Every time I draw, they tend to go, "What's he doing?" (almost always implying something sexual) and it just kills the mood. D: And I draw story ideas, so when that stuff gets in, I start disliking it. I'm overreacting, but still.
